5 Ways You Can Support a Foster/Adoptive Family

Pezibear / Pixabay
Pezibear / Pixabay

Most people who know us know that a few months ago we accepted our first foster placement of two beautiful little girls.  Their stay was brief, but I am forever changed.

Not many will know that this placement came about after years of prayer on my part, prayers like, “God, I’d love to adopt, but David doesn’t want to – please, if it is your will change his heart.”  That was the beginning.  Then, more recently my prayer changed to “Lord, I accept Your will, I give up my dream to adopt if it isn’t what You want for our family.”

It’s really a long story, better told in person over a cup of tea or coffee…I never really wanted to foster, too hard, too heartbreaking, too much of a roller coaster.  Adoption, on the other hand, was a warm, fuzzy thought – one more child to love and heal.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was wrong on both counts.  I’ve also learned one more humbling lesson about making a judgement call about something you’ve never done before.  Have I ever mentioned that I’m prone to that?  There  is more to this journey I may share sometime.  Some of it is another person’s story.

In the meantime, I’d like to list the top 5 ways that all of us can support those who choose to open their homes, hearts and lives to children from hard places – whether it be through adoption or fostering.  While my husband is now the one praying for God to change my heart, I’ll simply say it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done..

5 Ways to support a foster/adoption family –

  1.  Bring meals – and don’t ask for permission first
  2.  Listen when they need to talk
  3.  Offer to do respite – and do whatever it takes to be certified to do so
  4.  Send notes of encouragement with a verse
  5.  Don’t judge – ever

I Left a Piece of My Heart In Upstate NY

Well, (that’s a deep subject, my Mom would always say…)  its true – in the beginning when you have those little ones and you can’t get enough sleep and you’re changing countless diapers and refereeing squabbles all day – you take each precious moment and store it up in your heart and mind.  The smell at the back of your newborn’s neck.  The chubby hand holding yours.  The fifth time through “Good Night Moon”.   The lisps, the grins, the words like “pasgetti” and “gymnasnicks”.  A lot of times you have to reach for it through the bone-tiredness, but you do recognize the joy and preciousness of it all… I used to nod and smile at the older generation every time they told me “Enjoy it…”.    I wanted to say “I AM –  as much as I can!!” The days feel endless.  But the years are fast.

Saturday we dropped off our oldest to work at a camp for 2 months – she’s 17 and eager to be independent.  I’m happy for her and so excited to see the opportunities that are opening up for her as she pursues her interests and finishes her education!  But my heart aches, too.  This summer isn’t really a big deal.  But I know it’s the beginning of the next phase.  She’ll come back a different person and soon she’ll be spreading her wings and heading out into the world for good…

I’ve enjoyed every minute as much as I can,  AND it does go fast…  photo

Dates With My Kids

Mom and NatOne practice we instituted with our kids during these crazy, fun, hard, awesome years of parenting has been “time together.”  The simple name is just what it is – a little time carved out one-on-one with each child.  I don’t remember when we got deliberate about it, but I do clearly remember the first one – the newborn Continue reading Dates With My Kids